Can we rebrand death?

This Friday, I’ll be stepping onto the TEDx stage for the first time in Phoenix to talk about a topic that makes most of us really comfortable — death.

“No Time to Waste: Confronting Death to Live a Fuller Life”

Using the latest psychological research and drawing from her own personal experience battling advanced breast cancer, Alison explores our avoidance of death and challenges us to confront it head-on in pursuit of a richer, more meaningful life focused on gratitude, human connection, and joy.

It’s no surprise that we as humans are apt to avoid things that create internal fear and anxiety. Based on the research I’ve been digging into on Terror Management Theory, I can tell you that “death anxiety” is a real legit thing — and the massive conflict it creates internally makes it understandable that we’d rather not think about it.

Yet some of us haven’t had the luxury of choosing whether to avoid the topic.

Some of us have been forced to face this harsh reality much earlier than we’d like due to a scary health diagnosis (like me), a tragedy that took a loved one too soon, or a close call with death that reminded us how fragile life is.

Regardless of the reason, anyone who’s confronted the reality of their own mortality has likely found themselves presented with the question:

What will you do now?

Now that you’ve been reminded that you’re not going to live forever — and you may have limited time left — how will you approach your life? Will you continue on the path you’re on or will you choose to do things differently? Will you allow this experience to change you?

Some find themselves too shaken by the fear, forced without their consent to face the inescapable reality that we will all inevitably die. It’s too close. Too real. Too scary to confront. So they bury it back in their subconscious in an attempt to return to a state of blissful ignorance, convincing themselves they will surely be around long enough to retire, to get old and wrinkly, to take up golf or gardening.

But there are others who will take this experience of confronting their mortality and use it as an opportunity.

For me, facing the reality of my own death has enabled me to live a fuller life.

The gifts I’ve received on the other side of my own death anxiety‘s been consistent with the research on the benefits of confronting mortality:

• Clarity & Perspective: When we’re facing death, everything comes into focus — real fast — and it becomes instantly clear what matters (a select few things) and what doesn’t (most everything else)
• Connection: Regardless of race, creed, or culture, we’re all in the same boat when it comes to death. This promotes a sense of equality and togetherness, which helps us be more tolerant and understanding of other people’s defenses and limitations
• Urgency: When we think about our own death and the limited time we have on Earth, we’re driven to accomplish more, procrastinate less, and start doing more of the things that bring us joy, happiness and fulfillment
• Personal Legacy: Confronting death prompts us to focus on what we can give or leave behind — not what we can take — as we consider leaving the world a bit better than we found it and having our spirit live on.
• Gratitude: Gratitude has the power to turn everything we have into enough. And when you compare things to “well, I could be dead right now”, things start looking pretty good as we begin to notice all the little things in life we don’t want to miss.

I’ve thought more about my own death in the last year and a half than I have in my entire 39 years combined — yet I feel less scared of this reality than ever because I’m living a life without regrets that’s richer and more colorful than it’s ever been.

Here’s the great news:

YOU don’t have to wait for a diagnosis (like me), a brush with death, or hitting rock bottom to realize that life is short.

YOU can start living a life with more color, more intention, more meaning — starting right now.

It begins with having the courage to confront the reality that our time on this Earth is finite and work through your own death anxiety.

I’ll share some tips on exactly how to do that when I post the video of my TEDx talk in a couple weeks.

Until then, remember:

Today is all we’ve got.

Tomorrow is NOT guaranteed.

Don’t wait until your time runs out.

Live — and love — like there’s no time to waste.

Learn more about my story at www.notimetowasteproject.com